Hotel Rural El Patio (Garachico, Spain)

The de Pontes carry some weight in Garachico theyve been here since 1507. They built their own church in 1565, then ruled the island from 1608. This is their land down by the sea, and the dragon tree that stands in the courtyard is 400 years old. These days they run a banana plantation. Its all around you, with signed footpaths to guide you through it. You plunge off the main road, pass the small church, then roll down towards the ocean. The hotel is a curious mix of styles. 100-year-old palms soar in an ancient courtyard, a sparkling pool lazes out back with sublime views up the mountain. Inside, the 26 rooms are simple, homely, airy, spotless. Dont expect designer chic; do expect cast-iron beds, floral bedcovers, colourful walls and terracotta-tiled floors. Rooms are split between the manor house, the winery and the stables. Some are half a mile up the lane in a pretty annex, offering total peace and quiet. Dont miss the old garden, the lemon trees, the hanging ferns, the purple bougainvillea, the tennis court, the croquet pitch. Baltasar rules with a rod of pure sponge. The peace: youre in the middle of a banana plantation. You might not be lost to the outside world, but you cant hear it Recreation: The pool: its flanked by banana trees with views up the mountain Dining: All meals are taken in the hotel dining room. One wall is a window with wonderful views over the plantation and out to sea. Breakfast is a feast. There are plates of chorizo and Iberian hams, cold cheese, pastries, croissant and fruit. Unreformed Englishmen will also find cornflakes and bacon and eggs (even beans on toast, hurrah!). If youre still hungry, cakes, coffee, tea and fruit are left out all day and youre welcome to pop in and help yourself. If youre heading out for the day and want to take lunch with you, small picnics are prepared for 5. You get a couple of sandwiches (ham and cheese, tomato and lettuce), a piece of fruit, a carton of juice, maybe a hard-boiled egg. Walkers seem to like them. If you stay at the house and want a snack, salads, soups and sandwiches are available (if you order them before 11am). And theres always free fruit for the taking in the restaurants fruit basket. There is no longer a set menu for dinner but the new a la carte still offers traditional Canarian farmhouse cooking. To start you might get pumpkin soup, eggs Florentine or asparagus. Main courses offer things like home-made lamb stew, chicken thighs with baby carrots or grilled fish with a green salad. Puddings might be lemon tart, chocolate mousse or tiramisu. Youll probably want to mix it up and eat in some nights and out others. If you eat out and want to stay local, youll still have to drive. In Garachico you can try La Galletta for fresh fish or head west up to Buenavista and try El Burgado (more of the same) or Meson del Norte (a good reputation). Head to Puerto de La Cruz and try Regulo for a bit of posh nosh. Dedicated foodies might want to head further afield and try El Drago (in El Socorro), or El Coto de Antonio (Santa Cruz). These two will require a bit of a hike, but the rewards are great. Hotel staff will know whats hot and whats not and will advise.